Why Fear of Discomfort Might Be Ruining Your Life

from http://www.evolutionzine.net

Why Fear of Discomfort Might Be Ruining Your Life

Think about the major problems in your life — from anxiety to lack of regular exercise to a bad diet to procrastination and more.

Pretty much every one of these problems is caused by a fear of discomfort.

Discomfort isn’t intense pain, but just the feeling you get when you’re out of your comfort zone. Eating vegetables for many people, for example, brings discomfort. So does sitting in meditation, or sitting with a hard task in front of you, or saying No to people, or exercising. (Of course, different people are uncomfortable with different things, but you get the idea.)

And most people don’t like discomfort. They run from it. It’s not fun, so why do it?

The problem is that when you run from discomfort all the time, you are restricted to a small zone of comfort, and so you miss out on most of life. On most of the best things in life, in fact. And you become unhealthy, because if eating healthy food and exercising is uncomfortable, then you go to comfort foods and not moving much. Being unhealthy, unfortunately, is also uncomfortable, so then you seek distractions from this (and the fact that you have debt and too much clutter, etc.) in food and entertainment and shopping (as if spending will solve our problems!) and this in turn makes things worse.

Amazingly, the simple act of being OK with discomfort can solve all these problems.

This is a discovery I made a few years back, when I was trying to change my life.

I started by trying to quit smoking, but I hated the feeling of having an urge to smoke and not actually smoking. It was uncomfortable to resist that strong urge. My mind resisted, tried to make up all kinds of rationalizations for smoking. My mind tried to run from this discomfort, tried to seek distractions.

I learned to sit and watch the discomfort. And when I did, incredibly, it wasn’t too bad. My world didn’t end, nor did my mind implode. I was just uncomfortable for a bit, and then life moved on.

Then I watched this same process happen with running. I didn’t want to run because it was too hard. My mind made up rationalizations, etc. I found ways to avoid the running. Then I gave in to the discomfort, and it wasn’t hard. I ran, and learned to love it.

I repeated this process for changing my diet (many times, actually, because my diet gradually got healthier over time), for getting out of debt and not spending so much, for beating procrastination, for meditation, and so on.

Becoming OK with discomfort was one of the single biggest discoveries of my newly changed life.

How to Become Good at Discomfort

If you can learn to become good at discomfort, your life will have almost no limits. There’s no better skill to learn.

Here are some tips I’ve learned:

  1. Try it in small doses. Sit for 30 seconds in discomfort. If you’re averse to vegetables, try one green veggie. Put it in your mouth, leave it there for 30 seconds. You probably won’t like it much, but that’s OK. You don’t have to have a mouthgasm with every bite. I’ve learned to love veggies.
  2. Immerse yourself in discomfort. Are you sad, or angry, or stressed, or frustrated? Instead of avoiding those emotions, immerse yourself in them. Dive into them, accept them, be in them. Same with procrastination — sit with the task you’re running from, and don’t switch to something else. Just be there with that uncomfortable feeling. How does it feel? Are you in deep pain? Are you OK?
  3. Seek discomfort. Challenge yourself daily. Find uncomfortable things and do them. Introduce yourself to strangers. Hug a friend. Confess your feelings. Confront someone (with a smile). Say No to people. Go for a run. Try a new healthy dish.
  4. Watch yourself run from things. What have you been avoiding because of discomfort? What feelings have you been rejecting? What problems do you have that stem from discomfort? What have you allowed your mind to rationalize? Become aware of this process, and see if you can stop avoiding things, one by one.
  5. Learn that discomfort is your friend. It’s not an enemy to fear. It’s actually a good thing — when you’re uncomfortable, you are trying something new, you’re learning, you’re expanding, you’re becoming more than you were before. Discomfort is a sign that you’re growing.

Discomfort is the reason I decided to undergo my Year of Living Without— I’m facing the things that make me uncomfortable (and so far, finding that it’s not hard at all).

While others stay in their comfort zone, I explore the unknown. And I treasure the experience.

For more insights from Leo Babauta, visit  zenhabits.net

– See more at: http://www.evolutionezine.net/why-fear-of-discomfort-might-be-ruining-your-life-by-leo-babauta/#sthash.Te6ON3SF.dpuf

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Tap Into the Power of Personalized Automation

with thanks to Sue Rice from http://midwaycafemagazine.com

I am one of the lucky few who grew up in Silicon Valley before it was even called Silicon Valley.
We Prepared For THE Earthquake
I remember vividly the earthquake drills we used to have at our elementary schools. A very scary siren would pierce the quiet of the classroom and we were all told to get underneath our little wooden desks as far away from the glass windows as possible. We were taught to put our arms over our face to shield them from falling objects.
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We lived—dreaded—and prepared for The Big One.   We lived on the Peninsula …a small piece of land south of San Francisco and bordered by the coastal mountains beyond which the Pacific Ocean lies) It was a sleepy, sun-drenched peaceful place… full of bikes and swimming pools and happy children with frequent forays to the nearby beach, the theater in San Francisco and the stunning sights of Lake Tahoe.  But lingering in the background of this quintessential golden childhood was the very real fear that a big, huge devastating earthquake was ‘just around the corner’ ready to turn our lives upside down.

Of course, despite a few ‘scares’, a horrible catastrophic earthquake never did arrive to shatter our world.  The big irony however is that we were  completely oblivious to the fact that we were in sitting in the center of another type of earthquake whose consequences was going to rock the entire course of the world.
But There Was Another Earthquake Happening Under Our Noses

Our daily sea of life appeared calm but in reality a seismic quake was bubbling underneath… a tidal wave was forming in the distance.  And the name of that particular earthquake was technology.   

So as I frolicked in high school busy worrying about which boys liked me or whether or not I would be a pom-pom girl, Steve Jobs was tinkering away in a nearby garage creating a vision and products which was going to revolutionize my life…and the life of everyone I knew.

And when I decided to attend an experimental computer programming class, I sat next to a lovely, super-smart boy who would end up years later launching eBay.  

Yes. While we were watching the 3 classic TV channels and chatting on our pink Princess phones, a revolution was definitely underfoot.   

How Technology Rewired Our Thinking

But in hindsight, it really was never the technology itself that was the important revolution.  It is how technology has changed the way we live and the way we think.    What was and is important is how technology has rewired our expectations and assumptions.

I would argue that there are 3 main ‘social’ legacies that the technology revolution has left in its wake.

Legacy Number 1:  We live in a world of CIRCLES not SQUARES

On January 26, 1986, I began my advertising career as an International Account Executive at Ogilvy & Mather on 345 Madison Avenue… the day the Challenger blew up.

In those days, the world of communications was simple. Straightforward.   Mass media was…well… mass. It meant pushing one message out to the ‘masses’. If I can be so bold to say, it was all about the advertising agencies and the companies who peddled their products.  

We Didn’t Care About the Customer
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To be brutally honest, (since I was in a position to watch), those ad agencies and the companies they worked for really did NOT care about their consumer.  As long as he/she was doing what we wanted (i.e. buying products) nothing else mattered.
The mass media system was a world of images and numbers. Not a world of heart.  

Today, the one-way message is almost a quaint as our old pink Princess phones.

Today communication is both circular and interactive.  And the unquestioned power of the company and its message has evaporated.  

The mass media world was an ‘elite’ world. Fancy Madison Avenue advertising agencies created their mind boggling expensive messages, impossibly elitist publishing houses rendered it nigh impossible to publish a book and public relations firms were inaccessible to most.  

Today, ‘regular’ individuals, armed with their smartphones and a blog are publishers, writers and filmmakers. We can create movies, write books, and publish photographs without waiting for the ‘experts’ to approve anything.   You don’t need to be connected or have millions of dollars to share your message.

Thanks to Facebook and YouTube, we all have a podium from which to speak and be heard.  Nothing can stop us anymore from speaking out and expressing our thoughts and feelings.  Furthermore, when we speak we expect to be listened to.

We don’t want to be ‘spoken to’, we want CONVERSATIONS.

Mass media is definitively out.  Intimate dialogue is in.  

Legacy Number 2: The USP has been replaced by the IT

The USP or Unique Selling proposition was basically the foundation of all marketing for decades.  It was built on the concept that as a company I needed to establish my unique position–my unique selling point–in order to stand out in the crowd and attract my client.  

The IT or irresistible transformation appropriately reverses the role. The key to success in the 21st century is in understanding and identifying what is the TRANSFORMATION people will have in their lives as a result of working with you.

This is a subtle, but monumental shift.  

Our consumers do not fit into our lives, we fit into theirs.

It is for us to reach out and touch them and to relate to them.   We are there to solve their problems and relieve their pain points.

Instead of being someone who sells products, you are a problem solver and a transformer of lives.

As an entrepreneur or small business, you are in the transformation business, not the transaction business.

Legacy Number 3: We Live IN A World of Overwhelm.

The third legacy of the technological world is that we now live in a world of overwhelm.  As my friend and mentor Andrea J. Lee says, “Anyone who doesn’t feel overwhelmed today is simply not paying attention.”
There are millions of different ways to connect.
There are multiple screens.
There is a new bright shiny object emerging on the market every day.
There are too many choices.
There is too much fragmentation.
We all live with it.  No one is free of it.
You, as an entrepreneur–not to mention as a human being–are confused.
Your customers are confused.
Technology has left a social revolution in its wake.
For me, I see two sweeping conclusions.
On the one hand, we need to listen to our community, prospects and clients with great sensitivity.  We need to stop thinking about ourselves and our uniqueness.  We need to shift our thinking towards our Customer. Our successes will be directly related to how much THEIR lives change by coming into contact with us. 
On the other hand, in order to be effective, we need to combat overwhelm.  We need clear, streamlined systems that will automate tasks, save us time and help us serve our clients infinitely better.Image

This is the magic ingredient to success as an entrepreneur today.
We need to combine sensitivity with systems. 
We need to tap into the power of Personalized Automation.

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Seven Things Highly Productive People Do Differently

By: Darcy Juarez on: www.dankennedy.com

Earlier this week, the false rumor that Tiger Woods had died flooded the Internet.  The rumor spread when someone created a “R.I.P. Tiger Woods” Facebook page.

Clearly some people have more time on their hands than they know what to do with.  They must if they can afford to waste their time on something that produces no benefit for themselves or anyone else for that matter.

What that person did willingly is something we all fear…

Wasting time.                 

Unproductive spurts can sneak up on you and take hold of you at any point in any given day.

So today I’d like to focus on things you may be doing which are stopping your productivity dead in its tracks.  These are things that super successful people do differently than people who just get by.

And once you adopt them for your own business they will help you get much more done in your day than you may have ever thought possible—giving you the freedom to spend your extra time any way you like.

Here are seven things you can do to join the ranks of super productive and successful people:

  1. Get up early.One thing the most successful people in business and in history have in common is that they are early to rise. Dan Kennedy, Donald Trump, Benjamin Franklin, Ernest Hemingway—all make (or made) the habit of getting up early. Those who get up early tend to be more proactive and thus have a more productive mindset.
  2. Avoid multi-tasking. Do one thing at a time and avoid shifting from one thing to another, so you maximize your brainpower.  For example, avoid checking your email throughout the day and instead check your email and reply to emails once a day during an allotted email time only.Work on one project for a pre-determined amount of time before switching to another project.  In most cases multi-tasking will cause you to get a lot less done. In fact, there’s even scientific evidence that multi-tasking makes you less efficient and is linked to short-term memory loss.
  3. Don’t let fear stop you. Think about the last time you took much longer to finish a new project. Did you rationalize that it took longer because it was something new you’d never done before? Productive people find ways to keep moving and push forward even when they are apprehensive or nervous about the final outcome.
  4. Treat your business like a business. Sure you started your business to have more flexibility—so that you could take off during the day or go to your kids’ soccer game, but you need to set business hours and stick to them.  Set boundaries and communicate these to your family, friends and clients.  And make sure  they respect them.  This will result in fewer distractions during your day and make you more productive during your dedicated work time.
  5. Schedule time to work on your business. CEO Scott Lang says, “For me a big part of productivity is being agile. I like to leave blocks in my day open.” Lang says this allows him to have time to find out about new opportunities. When he doesn’t have unexpected meetings, he uses that time to catch up on industry reports and self-education.Plus he uses that time to focus on big picture thinking. If you don’t plan for this, your schedule can become overbooked, never leaving you time for these very important facets that will ultimately be responsible for helping you grow our business.
  6. Seek help. Don’t do everything yourself. Farm out the things you don’t like to do and the things that aren’t essential for you to do so you can focus on the things you do best.GKIC member Eric Dohner, M.D. manages multiple streams of income, four business locations, a busy practice and keeps his family of seven children in focus at all times. Dohner says a major breakthrough for him was when he realized there was a lot of stuff his staff could do that he didn’t need to do. Now he only does what he needs to do which mainly consists of doing initial consultations and the actual procedure. Everything else is handled by staff.
  7. Identify time wasters & eliminate them. Take time to identify what is sucking your time and make a plan for eliminating them. For example, if you have a lot of phone calls throughout the day, this can be a huge distraction. Turn your phone off and schedule a time when you will make and return all of your calls.

Part of securing more time while making more money is working smarter, not harder…and thinking a little differently. When you follow these seven ideas found in the most successful entrepreneurs in the world, you’ll be more productive which in turn will free on more time, creating the independence you’ve been searching for.

NOTE: Dan Kennedy is one of the most successful –and productive people I’ve ever met. He gets more done in one hour than most get done in an entire day. If you feel your day slips away without accomplishing as much as you’d like to, then you’ll want to find out what Dan has to say about how to break through the common barriers that are stopping you from extreme productivity.

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Work it! Work it Good…

By Jay Kubasek from www.prousuccess.net

Over the years I have found that productivity can be an elusive bugger! Often I find myself busier than a one-legged fool in an ass-kicking contest and feel as if I am going in a hundred different directions all day long…

By the end of the day, I am exhausted, stressed out, and completely wiped. Worse yet, if I’m being honest with myself- despite all of the “busy-ness”- sometimes it seems I have little to show for it.

As you will find out in today’s WAKE UP call, I try to keep these sanity-savers in mind, daily:

Urgent vs Important:  Great time management means being effective as well as efficient. Managing time effectively, and achieving what you want to achieve, means spending your time on the tasks and issues that are important and not just urgent. To do this, and to minimize the stress of having too many tight deadlines, you have to understand this distinction:
Important activities have an outcome that leads to the achievement of your goals, whether these are professional or personal.
Urgent activities demand immediate attention, and are often associated with the achievement of someone else’s goals. Unfortunately, urgent activities are often the ones we concentrate on, they demand attention because the consequences are immediate and inescapable.
Start with the end in mind: Know what the outcomes of your day/week/month/year are before you start taking action. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Every Monday morning I break projects into individual tasks that can be completed in 30-60 minutes max. Then, I make two fresh to-do lists: Important and Urgent. Important tasks are the ones that will have an immediate impact on my life and business. I knock these out first. The second list has everything else that needs to get done for the week. This list includes doing things for others, catching up on emails, paying bills, meetings, administrative tasks, etc.  My goal is to knock out 3-5 Important items off of my list each dayMonday, Tuesday and Wednesday. (I don’t pencil any in for Thursday in case I am running behind.) Thursday and Friday are my days to catch-up and take care of the Urgent items and “busy” type work.
Eliminate distraction: Multi-tasking doesn’t work. Can a professional golfer, surfer, tennis player, or race car driver surf the net, check social media feeds, and afford to be distracted while trying to play at the top of their game? If you are anything like me – you can only do one thing at a time well. And, you’ll prefer to leave the endless notifications, chimes, reminders, beeps, and vibrations for the scatter-brained…
Leave room for life to happen: I fill only 60% of my calendar daily; I leave 20% available for spontaneity, and 20% as a reality (kid, dog, car, etc.) buffer. This tip alone will transform your days by reducing unplanned, time-zapping headaches- into minor, scheduled tasks. Once you grasp the cardinal importance of this and allow yourself some space for surprises, you will be amazed how much easier life becomes. No one won wins a battle against Father Time, you can only work with him…
Don’t be attached to the linear order of things:    I tend to do my best work when I am having fun. I try to be flexible with my schedule, plans, and lists- willing to move things around as needed. If I don’t get done today what I intended today? No biggie- I take a deep breath, go for a walk in the morning and hit the reset button. Building a business (or life) is a marathon and no game is ever won or lost in one moment or opportunity. It’s what you do consistently over time that has a compounding effect- not what’s done under the gun…
MILK IT! If I find myself in an inspired state or creative “groove”- I stay in  it as long as I possibly can. Creativity and inspiration are the dew of the Gods’ IMHO and not to be taken for granted.  The creative process can be fickle, so it’s best to give it room to breathe and happen organically. If invention is the the mother of necessity, them creativity is the daughter.  We all have vast creative abilities but few of us ever truly nurture it, cultivate it, or allow it the time and space to blossom naturally.
Pace yourself:  Set attainable day-to-day goals. Know your limits. No one will ask, “How long did it take?” they’ll ask, “Who did it?!” Do this and you will achieve the impossible over the long term. My dad taught me this…
Transfer unfinished tasks to the following day without regret: There is always tomorrow… As long as you did your absolute best today- you will rest peacefully tonight. No one can make you feel bad for a job well done. Rome was not built in a day my friend. I remind myself of this daily.
Learn to say “no” with finesse: Spreading myself too thin is a bad habit that always bites me in the ass… and not looking out for Numero Uno serves no one in the end. People will respond positively to your self-imposed boundaries and assertiveness. They will respect you for having the foresight to demand it… It screams self-power and is inspiring to others.
Keep at it: Keep working at your plan each and every day. Remind yourself daily that time is on your side. Don’t be attached to how long it takes, rather be attached only to the eventual outcome. (Don’t worry about how you get it, just that you get it.)
Have fun, for goodness’ sake: Last but not least, I always try to have fun with what I have to do… Seriously- nothing is worth doing if you don’t love what it is you do.
My absolute best,

Jay Kubassek

P.S. Share some of the daily reminders you use to keep yourself on target, productive, happy, and fulfilled!

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Use This Success Trigger to Stop Insulting People

thanks to www.successtriggers.com

When was the last time you watched a commercial and crinkled your nose and said, “Ugh! That commercial is so stupid!”

Or you were looking at website and said, “This popup is so IRRITATING. Why would they ever do that??”

Or (this is my favorite), you say, “Why doesn’t HBO just sell Game of Thrones on iTunes? They’re so dumb! DUH!!!!”

Let’s get real. HBO is a lot smarter than you. And if you go through life criticizing companies and people (as 99% of us do, me included), you miss out on something magical.

TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY THESE PEOPLE/COMPANIES DO WHAT THEY DO!

In other words, you can disparage these people..or you could say, Hey, maybe they know more than I do. What do they know that I don’t?

This is a powerful Success Trigger, and one that I’m introducing you to today.

Introducing the D-to-C Principle
When I was spending most of my time in my SF apartment, I was surrounded by a lot of engineers. They are brilliant at what they do. But they also have very curious beliefs about the world works (AKA they are often wrong, and they’re SURE their worldview is right).

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Click “Display Images” to see a classic engineering tweet

For example, they would crinkle their nose at companies that advertise in Times Square. “So stupid!” they would rant. “They’re just wasting $50K/day in untracked advertising!”

And all the other engineers would laugh haughtily.

I’m like, WTF is wrong with you? These companies have been around for 100 years. They’re WAY smarter than you or me. Instead of criticizing them…maybe we should try to understand them. What do they know that we don’t?

From DISPARAGEMENT to CURIOSITY.

They stared at me, then went back to coding. I contemplated ways to kill myself using a nail file and a keyboard.

Easy to laugh at them. Yet we ALL do this.

I loved seeing an internet forum full of keyboard warriors saying things like…

  •  “Why do they try to get me to sign up for an email newsletter? Email is dead.”
  • “Ugh, he uses those long-copy pages. Only scammers use long copy.”
  • “Why don’t they just reveal their price on their web page? If I don’t see a price, I just leave.”

EACH OF THESE COMMENTS ARE UNBELIEVABLY CLUELESS. I know, since I’ve tested each one. Doing just these 3 things has been worth millions for me. Yet these critics were incredibly sure of themselves.

Instead of saying, “Ugh! They’re so stupid!” they could have said, hmmm….what does he know that I don’t?

From DISPARAGEMENT to CURIOSITY.

I went through this experience when I started learning about sophisticated direct-response marketing. I thought all long-copy pages and infomercials were scams. But I decided to set aside my skepticism, study them carefully, see what works and what didn’t, and decide what was ethical and what wasn’t. And I learned several insights that I never would have encountered…if I’d remained SKEPTICAL.

This one mental model — from D to C — is an example of a Success Trigger, a “shortcut” you can use to emulate top performers.

Once I learned this Success Trigger (among others), it changed everything for me. Instead of of criticizing car companies, or the local mom-and-pop shop, or even a friend, I forced myself to try to understand WHY they were doing what they were doing. From DISPARAGEMENT to CURIOSITY. And it’s opened my eyes to all kinds of deep insights I never would have realized if I’d stuck with my old mental model.

Listen, I get it — it feels GOOD to say, “How dumb!” (I do it myself, and I have to constantly force myself to go from D-to-C.) But when you have this Success Trigger, it’s truly a mental shortcut you can keep in your back pocket and apply EVERYWHERE.

Yes, this principle alone been worth millions of dollars. But it’s also helped me hone my social skills and become far more empathetic.

 

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Surprising habit that may keep you broke

thanks to the guys at www.catapultevents.com

Take this in…

The year was 1661 and a young 19 years old student named Isaac Newton first attended the University of Cambridge.
Unfortunately, in the summer of 1665 the University closed for nearly two years because of an outbreak of the plague.
With nowhere to learn, Newton returned home and started thinking… Thinking and concentrating on mathematics and physics.
It was at this time that he came up with some of the worlds biggest scientific breakthroughs.
Lesson for you?

It may sound counter intuitive… But your biggest breakthroughs will happen when you…

Stop learning… and start thinking.

Another case in point.

Young Albert Einstein – During school, none of his teachers held any regard for Einstein saying he was lazy, sloppy and defiant.
What they thought was laziness was actually boredom.
Instead of memorizing facts and dates (like mainstream schooling), Einstein preferred to ponder questions about light, time and space.
He’d often skip class and go home to think and read about the newest in scientific theory
After graduating, he struggled to find work because none of his teachers liked him enough to write him a recommendation letter.
He eventually got a job as a clerk at a patent office. A job that required very little (if any) of Einstein’s brainpower.
It was during this time he had space to think.
With just pen, paper, and his brain, Albert Einstein revolutionized science as we know it today.

Question for you…

When was the last time you added “Thinking time” to your busy schedule?

One of the most successful entrepreneurs, Richard Branson, openly admits to not being a big reader.
He’s more of an intuitive thinker.
Again… when was the last time you created space in your busy diary to stop learning… and start thinking.
It should be a daily ritual.
To your success

Sean Roach & The Catapult Team

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Secret Slave To Your Life?

from Sue Rice’s Blog {Midway Cafe} http://midwaycafemagazine.com

I just had to share with you this article written by Alexis Neely entitled “Are you Selling Your Soul to Pay Your Bills? In it, she talks the question, “Are you taking your own personal destiny in your hands”? Or are you simply living the life of a secret slave, cow towing to a system or way of living that you never really consciously chose?

These are hard questions but I believe they are discussed eloquently here.

“If you’ve been around these parts for a while, you’ve heard me talk about sovereignty, but you may not have a clear understanding of exactly what I meant.

When you are sovereign, you are fully responsible for your own life experience. You are not dependent on the government, a corporate job you secretly hate, your parents, or anyone else for your income.

When you are sovereign, you make your decisions from a place of desire, not fear. Stephen Covey Priorities

When you are sovereign, you own yourself.

You are not a slave.

Except that, right now, you might be.

Many people today are slaves.

Slaves to a system you don’t even believe in because we have allowed ourselves to become convinced that we need to do things that are not in alignment with who we are because otherwise we will … starve, be homeless, be outcast, die alone, not be able to educate our kids, not have enough to care for ourselves throughout life … fill in your own biggest fear.

I came across it blatantly this weekend.

We were on a camping trip with a new friend and got around to talking about her work. Turns out she works for big oil. She negotiates land leases on behalf of the companies that do fracking. She knows that fracking is destroying our water supply. She knows that the land leases she is entering into aren’t good for the homeowners. Yet, she is investing her life doing it because it pays the bills.

It pays the bills.

She KNOWS it’s hurting people, our water supply, our planet. But, she’s stuck.

A slave.

Another friend works as a project manager for a major ad agency, working on ads for big pharma. She hates it. She hates that she’s investing her life energy to persuade people to take medications she would never consider putting in her own body.

But, it pays the bills.

A third friend has a company she knows is spreading a message of half-truths and flat-out lies. She has convinced herself it’s okay because it not only pays her bills, but the bills of 20 other people and the revenue will make it so she can repay her investors.

As if that makes it okay.

She’s a slave too. Even though she has her own company, she sold out to pay the bills.

Are you too working a job or doing business you not only hate, but you know (even if you wouldn’t admit it to anyone out loud) is actually hurting our planet and your community?

Because it pays the bills? Because it feeds your ego? Because you think you have to?

If so, I imagine you want to break free, but you’ve convinced yourself you can’t. It’s too secure. It’d be too scary to let go.

I understand.

I was there myself once.

I had built a business I began to hate. I got disconnected from the reason I had started it in the first place and trapped by a business model that didn’t serve.

I found myself on Nancy Grace gossiping about Tiger Woods’ divorce and it hit me like a hard slap in the face, I not only wasn’t impacting the world in the way I knew I could, I was actually adding more negativity.

I found myself frequently hiding. I repeatedly heard from members of my business team ”Alexis … you can’t do that. You can’t say that. You can’t write that. You can’t wear that. You’ll hurt the business.” And so I shut up.

live the lifeI was a slave.

You didn’t come here to slave away each day so you can pay the bills.

Your life is worth more than that.

YOU are worth more than that.

You have a unique gift to give that we are all missing out on when you sell your soul for so little.

If you are going to sell your soul, at the very least do it for something meaningful. Something worthy. Make it a game-changer.

But where do you start? Especially, when there is the reality of all those bills. And the people you support. And the debt you owe.

I faced exactly that question myself. Here’s a three-step action plan you can begin on now:

Step 1: Discover how much money you really need NOW to live the life you want.

Drop the idea that you need to save for retirement because you know you aren’t going to have enough saved up even if you keep doing exactly what you are doing … and instead shift into a vision of financial liberation, in which you know how to make what you need, when you need it, doing work you love that you can do until you die.

Stop focusing on paying off your debt and instead consider how you can use your good credit score to acquire more of the resources you need to build yourself that income stream and stop doing work you hate

-OR-

if your credit score is already bad, consider how you can deal with the debt you have with as much ease as possible without you continuing to let it hold you back from living your dreams right now. In any case, let go of the belief that your debt is keeping you stuck. It’s not.

Get into right relationship with how much money you actually do need now and out of the false ideas of what you think you need that are keeping you stuck.

Step 2: Identify your entrepreneurial archetype and the business model that is right for you.

Get clear that you can be in business for yourself, no matter what kind of person you are (even if you’ve never thought of yourself as an entrepreneur), once you’ve identified your particular entrepreneurial archetype and the business model that fits.

Chances are, if you can’t see yourself in business for yourself it’s because you are comparing yourself to people with a different archetype than you and their business model isn’t a match for you. And, if you are in business and do not LOVE your business, aren’t making the kind of money you really need, and feel like it’s a struggle, it’s also probably an archetype/business model mismatch.

Once you’ve identified your personal archetype and the right business model for where you are right now, you can begin to learn from the people who have already done what you want to do and you’ll discover it’s actually not that hard.

In fact, continuing to do what you are doing and being out of alignment with the truth of who you really are is FAR HARDER than any business will be when you are in alignment.

Step 3: Learn from people who have done what you want to do.

You need to get yourself into relationship and community with people who are sovereign.

It’s often been said by people far smarter than me that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. And, while I’ve wanted to deny it, I’ve discovered for myself, it’s true.

The more time I spend in the company of or learning from people who have what I want, the closer and closer I get to my dream life.

The more time I spend with people who don’t have what I want, the more I find myself mired in drama, fear and doubt.

Will Smith Too Many People spendLook around and see where you are being held back and commit to yourself to find a connection this week with at least one person — a mentor, a friend or a community — that supports you taking one step closer to your own personal path to sovereignty.

If you do this, one day you will look back and wonder how you could have stayed for so long doing that thing that you hate, that you know is not what you came here to do, because it was too scary, comfortable, secure to do something else.”

Leave your comments as to how this affected you. Have a great weekend.

Paul

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Poor Receivers Don’t Get Rich

With thanks to T. Harv Eker http://www.harveker.com

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What kind of receiver are you? If you’re reading this, chances are you consider yourself a giver of sorts. You might even beat yourself up a little bit for thinking you don’t give enough. Then again, there are those who think they’re givers but really aren’t.

The point is we tend to fo cus on giving as “goodness”; of feeling good or intending good. But what kind of receiver are you? Do you take compliments bashfully? Do you say, “Aw, it was really nothing”? Do you tell them to stop teasing you, or that you weren’t fishing for a compliment?

One of the big reasons most people don’t reach their full potential, financially or otherwise, is that they are very, very poor receivers. ‘You’re not worthy’ because of the way you look, or what you do, or how much money you have, or don’t have.

You’re worthy because the Great Spirit, or Universe, or God, or whatever you want to call a higher power, has put you on the earth at this time. There’s nothing else to think about! Since you’re as worthy as the next person, you’re as deserving to receive as anyone else. Anything else that your mind says around that is made up, non-supportive crappola!

And then there’s that phrase that a lot of people heard when they were young, and we still hear it: “It’s better to give than to receive.” Of course it is, isn’t it?

I’m sorry, but let’s just call that what it is: bad math! If both have to be there for the other to exist, how on earth could one be better than the other? How is that possible? Somebody enlighten me please!

By the way, the original intention of that ‘better to give’ statement actually translates more correctly into ‘It’s better to be in a position to give than in a position where you need to receive’.

In other words it’s better to be rich! Some people will read that and get that little twinge of guilt—How can I so selfishly justify wanting to be rich? Fine, I understand, I was there too, so let’s try this from another angle.

How does it feel to give, especially when that person didn’t ask you for anything yet you knew they were in need? Most people say it feels great, yes? It’s especially the grateful receivers that make us feel even better about our giving, yes?

But if you’re not willing to receive, you’re ripping off those people from the other side of the equation who want to give. And we’re proving that both giving and receiving are great. Two birds with one stone. If you’re in a position to give, that’s wealth—whether it’s money, time or kindness.

So here’s your practice. No more returning compliments for a specific time! If someone gives you a compliment, you’re not allowed to give them a compliment at that time because it dishonors them (of course use your better judgment, but you get the point!).  Returning a compliment because you think you have to robs them of the full joy of giving you the compliment. And it robs you of receiving.

The key is to recognize that whether you’re “worthy” or not is a feeling, not a fact. It’s a story that you made up and now you own. Disown that! Receive with the same joy that you give.

Now it’s your turn – we want to hear your thoughts and feelings. Do you think you’re a better giver or receiver? Do you have a hard time receiving compliments? How about giving them? Your feedback is very valuable so make sure to leave a comment and start a conversation with others in our community!

For your freedom,
harvsignature

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Staying the Course

I was just looking at he stats for my blog. Amazing, I hadn’t posted anything for over 2 months, yet there were still people coming to the page.

When I started it nearly 3 years ago, I set myself the challenge to post twice a week. That lasted for a few weeks, then like a lot of other good intentions, it became once a week, then once a fortnight, once a month, then when I remembered and had the time to sit down and write.

Maybe it is easier tonight as it allows me to not write something else I have to finish.

How many of us, in our current society are making life too difficult for ourselves, by trying to cram too much in? Then we don’t get it all done, we proceed to beat ourselves up over it and then repeat the cycle.

As I shared with a seminar group yesterday, that is the definition of insanity, repeating the same behaviours and expecting a different result.

So what I have gleaned from the many books, CD’s, DVD’s and seminars is that simplifying your life allows many good things to enter your life.

  • Less Stress
  • More Clarity
  • Finish More Stuff
  • Less Pressure
  • Less Feelings of Overwhelm
  • Greater Success – whatever that means for you
  • More time to stop and smell the roses
  • Better Health
  • and many more – (please comment with your thoughts)

The funny thing is that with less things to focus on, it will be easier to Stay the Course.

Ultimately, you will feel better about yourself.

Set yourself a 30 day challenge, to Identify the Important things in your life that have to stay and be done.

Everything else should go on a list of things I might get around to if I find the time and inspiration. Look at this list on a regular basis to see whether anything on the list needs to be elevated to the important list.

Again leave your comments for others to gain the benefit of and tell us how you are going.

Have a great week and thanks for reading.

You can also leave your comments on http://www.facebook.com/Belief.First

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The Hidden Treasure in Procrastination

With thanks to Rebecca Fine from the Science of Getting Rich

“When you are in doubt, wait.”

  — Wallace Wattles, in The Science of Getting Rich

Now that title above may strike you as somewhat odd, especially
in January when it seems everyone is exhorting us to get busy
and make big changes.

But consider this: Sometimes when you find yourself putting off
particular actions, it’s because your inner self is signalling
you that you are simply not READY to take those actions yet.

And that’s because you haven’t gotten your habitual THINKING
in harmony with whatever it is you want to be, do, or have.

Mr. Wattles tells us that action taken from a place of fear or
doubt or from motivations that aren’t truly in our best
interests (such as acting simply because OTHER people want us to
do something that pleases THEM, for example) can’t move us
toward the manifestation of our desires.

Why? Because when we’re holding ANY kind of thoughts that cause
us to feel bad, it’s a sure sign that we’re moving AWAY from
the completion of our desires rather than toward them. In those
times our thoughts simply are not in harmony with our desires.
Instead they’re harmonizing with the absence or lack of those
things we desire, and we are then attracting more of the lack.

So forcing ourselves to take action when our
thoughts are focused negatively (away from
what we want to experience), doesn’t really
make much sense at all, does it?

Now this doesn’t mean not to jump right into action — even
intense, huge, MAJOR action — when you DO feel good. Mr.
Wattles also says this:

“Do not be afraid to make a sudden and
radical change if the opportunity is
presented and you feel after careful
consideration that it is the right
opportunity …”

And he completes that encouragement with this reminder:

” … but never take sudden or radical
action when you are in doubt as to the
wisdom of doing so.”

What it all boils down to, really, is simply paying attention to
your True Self, that inner guide that always lets you know
what’s really right for YOU, regardless of what anyone or
anything outside yourself may think. And the simplest way to
“listen” to that guide is simply to ask yourself:

How do I FEEL right now? How do I feel when I’m thinking THIS
thought?

My friend, if your thought is filling you with joy, enthusiasm,
love, or anything else that feels wonderful, then your thoughts
are harmonizing with your “clear mental image,” and you are in a
place to take powerful, “efficient” action.

And if your thought is filling you with dread, guilt, shame,
unhappiness, or anything else that feels BAD, well, what does
THAT tell you? ;-D

“Power is at your service, and to make each
act efficient you have only to put power into
it. Every action is either strong or weak,
and when every action is strong, you are
acting in the certain way which will make you
rich.”

Sometimes procrastination is just your True Self letting you know
— through your mind and body — that any action you take right
now would NOT be strong and efficient but quite the opposite.

When that’s the case, what’s called for is to use your greatest
power, the power of your mind, to shift to thoughts that please
and delight you to the point of INSPIRED action.

And then, my friend, you are TRULY powerful!

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